Coaching Principles Every Coach Should Follow
Most coaches believe that the hardest part about growing a coaching business is getting new clients. Not true. Stop focusing on getting new clients. Start focusing on re-enrolling them. Hi, this is Ajit Nawalkha and today we are talking about the secret that gets clients to come back to us again and again. When I first started my coaching business, I did what all new coaches do. I went out and signed a bunch of clients. I started serving them and I thought they were really happy. Only to realize that when it came time to re-enroll these clients, none of them signed up with me again. So I went all Sherlock Holmes and tried to figure out why is it that my clients were not re-enrolling with me and what is it that I could do to have my clients come back to work with me again. Shut up, everybody! Shut up! Don’t move, don’t speak, don’t breathe. I’m trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you’re putting me off. I realized a simple secret. A lot of us coaches know how to get, we don’t know how to keep.
After a lot of research, trial, and error, I found there are five principles that if we follow in our coaching sessions, we will be able to keep our clients and have them coming back for more. The first principle is to build rapport. The purpose of a coaching session is to serve our clients. To get them the results that they truly desire, but we can’t do this if they’re not willing to share their deepest fears and desires with us.
We must become their greatest supporters, their greatest collaborators, and their greatest cheerleaders. And the best way to create that level of trust is to build rapport. One of the most powerful ways to build rapport is a technique from NLP called mirroring. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said you are the total of the five people you spend the most time with. Have you ever realized how similar you think and act to the people that you’re spending the most time with? This is mirroring in action. Now I am not saying to be that annoying kid that repeats everything that the other person is saying. That’s repeating somebody, not mirroring somebody. Repeating will become annoying fast. I said no. I said no. I mean it. I mean it. Stop it. Stop it. I’m getting annoyed. Instead, mirror your client by having similar gestures or similar tone or similar breathing styles. as your client. Unconsciously, this will create rapport between you and your client. Mirroring is a complex skill, but if practiced over time, you can get good at it. And once you get good at it, you will be able to build rapport very quickly with your potential clients or your existing clients.
The second principle is to disassociate yourself from the coaching. It’s not about you and what you think is right. Let me repeat that. It is not about you or what you think is right. We are all on different journeys, but remember when you’re with a client, it’s not about your journey, it’s about their journey. When we let ego influence our thoughts and actions, we chase the result for us instead of chasing it for them. Have done was land your plane.
You don’t own that plane, the taxpayers do. Son, your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash. It’s not about how good your systems and strategies are, it’s not about how good you are at doing something, it’s not about you. Leave your ego at the door and focus on the client. What are their dreams, what are their problems, what are their challenges, what are their concerns? You are here to serve them. Never forget that. Thirdly, be brave. Be brave enough to ask the tough questions. This might sound obvious but most coaches don’t ask brave questions.
When in a coaching session, they let fear or ego take over them and discount the session by asking easier, more reasonable questions. When we let fear or ego take over in a coaching session, we lose our presence with our clients. I’m not saying that you won’t feel fear, especially if you’re about to or intend to ask a really brave question. You will feel fear but embrace it and move on with it. This coaching session is not about you, it’s about them. So be brave and ask the brave question. Ask those questions, challenge your clients, and go down that rabbit hole. You will see in time that you didn’t only serve your clients deeply, you became a better coach. Hell, yes! The fourth principle is to be present.
Ever wondered how marathon runners get to the finish line? It is said it’s 90% mental. The secret is in the ability to concentrate and be present. The same happens with coaching. Coaching is an intellectual art, it needs you to focus day in and day out. You need to be present day in and day out. It’s draining. And, unlike most jobs, you can’t let your mind drift away like Michael Peña’s character in Ant-Man. Focus. Keep it simple.
No, no, no. No doubt, no doubt. Okay. So I’m at this art museum with my cousin Ignacio, right? And there was this, like, abstract expressionism exhibit. But you know me, I’m more like a Neo-Cubist kind of guy, right? But there was this one Rothko that was sublime, bro! Oh, my god! Luis. Okay, sorry, sorry. You know, I just get excited and stuff. So you might ask, hey, how do I get present especially when I have a busy day or I have back-to-back sessions? Well, the secret to being present is rituals.
What rituals do you have in your coaching sessions before your coaching sessions, after your coaching sessions, that bring you to the present moment? Different coaches have different ways to get present before sessions. Some might do a quick meditation, some might read some inspiring paragraphs from a book and some might jump and dance to their favorite music. Try different rituals until you find what is it that will get you into the present moment, especially right before a coaching session, so you can show up more powerfully to that session. I look good. I mean, good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look! Lastly, don’t be attached. Coaches are compassionate people.
That means that, sometimes, we can take on our clients’ emotions. We can feel a tremendous amount of joy or a tremendous amount of sadness based on a coaching session that we just had. And that could be a grave mistake. As a coach, you can instigate and support transformation in your client’s life, but you can’t guarantee results. Let me repeat that. You can’t guarantee results. When you tie yourself to your client’s outcome, you get emotional about it. It takes you out of your rational mind Whether your client gets a positive or a negative outcome, it’s their outcome. It came out of their action, their motivation, and their drive. This is their journey, this is their outcome. Does that ring a bell? Principle two. The second principle is to disassociate yourself from the coaching. So, detach yourself from the results and emotions that your client is feeling. Stay responsible for the process, be present in the process, and ask questions that will instigate them to create better results for themselves. So, here are the five coaching principles that we talked about today.
Firstly, is build rapport. Secondly, remember, it’s not about you. Thirdly, be brave. Fourthly, stay present. And lastly, don’t get attached. Which of these five principles do you find hardest to follow? Tell me in the comment section below. Share this video with a friend that you think might find it useful. Hit the subscribe button, so you can get a notification when we release a new video.
Thank you for watching and have a phenomenal day.
